Fiction.

They all thought she was dead. It was a pretty reasonable assumption actually. Not many people survive being tied up while an historic theatre burns down around you. But I knew Diana was alive. I knew the same way I knew the bum, who went by Jack Arrow apparently, was still alive: I could see them, like a hazy dream, running through alleys in The Fan.

“I’m going after them.” I declared as the last wall of the Byrd Theatre crumbled to the ground. The sound echoed over the rooftops.

“Kaiser, they are both dead. You need to accept it.” Lauren slipped her arm around my waist as she tried to console me. I shrugged it off and started to pace around the rooftop.

“I can see them! They are still alive, I know it.” I started back down the fire escape.

Lauren and Amelia exchanged a worried glance. Lauren ran over to Amelia, gave her a quick hug, and headed after me down the stairs.

“Well what am I supposed to do here by myself?” asked Amelia.

“I dunno, make some shit glitter or something.”

We hit street level, and I took off running down Boulevard. As we ran I saw flashes of Arrow dragging Diana past some shady looking character including a hefty black man wearing a miniskirt and a mesh tank top. There was only one spot in The Fan were you could find a manstitute like that, and I knew just where it was.

We made great time towards Grace and Allen. Just as we were about to round the corner Lauren yelled out “Wait a sec!” She hurried over to the nearest tree and began yanking off all of the branches. Once she had a handful she held them out in front of her.

“What are you doing? I could think of a better time to take up gardening.”

“No, asshole.” She rolled her eyes as the tree limbs made an audible pop and were replaced with a wooden baseball bat.

“I thought you might want this?” she said handing the bat over to me.

“Lauren, I could kiss you!” I snatched the bat and ran around the corner.

I could smell the smoke as soon as I turned the corner. All around the Robert E. Lee monument cars had wrecked and were on fire. Several people had crawled out of the burning wreckage either to die or fall asleep. The entire city seemed not to notice or care. Arrow was sitting on the steps of the monument with Diana. She was fast asleep her head on his lap.

“Kaiser!” he shouted, “I have something you might want.”

“I have something for you too asshole.” I said as I pointed the bat at him and immediately felt like a total badass. I crossed the roundabout with Lauren and picked our way through the wreckage. Lauren stooped down to pick up a stray car antennae and brandished it menacingly.

“Aren’t you going to turn that into something more useful?” Arrow laughed.

Lauren said nothing but pointed her antennae at the massive weeping wound on his head where the steel plate was/had been and smiled. Jack Arrow frowned.

I was beginning to like Lauren, and it wasn’t because she had a nice rack, or because her sweaty t-shirt was plastered all over said rack. Lauren was an underrated badass if push came to shove — which I liked. But this was a completely inappropriate time to be looking at her tits.

Just as we reached the center of the roundabout that terrible sleepiness that was becoming all too familiar hit us like a humid day. I took two steps forward and stumbled to my knees. Lauren didn’t even make it that far. Clutching the bat desperately I looked up at Diana. She looked so peaceful.

Arrow stood up and gently laid Diana’s head down on the step. My eyes felt like fat Starr Jones was standing on them. He knelt down over me as blood dripped from his head wound onto my face. The monument began to fade in and out.

“I’m not going to kill you or your sister Kaiser. I’m not even going to kill Lauren — although I should for that little trick with the plate in my head. You know I got a Purple Heart for that? Anyway, I’m not going to kill you. At least not today.”

“I’m just going to give you a little advice.”

My eyes closed and I felt Arrow’s breath in my ear.

“Ask her about her father.”

“Hey, 7-11 guy.” I picked a beer at random. “You’re always going to sell Red Stripe for virtually nothing.”

“There was an inventory problem, and we do sell Red Stripe for virtually nothing.”

My powers just keep growing, I see. Let’s try something harder, but not too hard: Amelia will try to do me. Wait, what? Why the fuck would I want that? She has a smaller cup size than a little league baseball player.

That’s when my phone rang. “Come on Virginia, don’t make me wait. You catholic girls start much too late.”

“Lite Brite,” I answered, being sure to pretend not to give a shit, because honestly, I don’t.

She was tough to hear, breathing heavily. “James. You need to steal a car and get your ass over here.” Steal a car? On it.

“Look, I can hear how hot and bothered you are, and I understand. But I was just screwing around. You don’t actually want to do me.” I need to backpedal fast. James does not need a whole brood of Jamelias running around, setting things on fire and bending each other’s minds.

“Shut! Up! They’re headed east, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep up. Meet me at Grace and Robinson.”

“Sure thing! Don’t get your training bra tangled.”

Amelia was even more of a sweaty mess than before when I caught up to her in my appropriated pink Beetle.

“They’re headed east! I like your daisy.”

I threw the damned thing out the window as I accellerated. “Fuck off. I didn’t have time to wait for a Camaro.”

“No, I’m serious. This is a good color for you, James.”

“I’m serious, too, LB. I’m going to punch you in a boob, if I can find one. Hang on, this’ll be faster on Monument.”

General Lee, RIP, looked alive in the flickering lights of the car fires. So cars DO burst into flame if they crash. I always thought that was just in movies.

“Do you think I should get back on Grace?” I asked.

Amelia, though, was already pointing. “There they are!”

Car fires flared, and the spotlights pointed at the Lee Monument shined brighter. There on the grass, on his knees, was Kaiser. The dozy bastard looked about to fall asleep. Well, let’s see how powerful I’ve gotten. I concentrated on coffee, Coke, tea, chocolate, and Ritalin.

The Bug’s skid was still hanging in the humid air. Kaiser shook his head, then looked at Lauren even harder than he typically does. “Kaiser! Forget Lauren! Grab the bum!” I shouted.

But he had already opened a panel under the General’s horse and disappeared inside, dragging Diana by the hair.

“You first.”

“What? No. Be a fucking gentleman. You go.”

“Look, Lite Brite, I’m not the one who can glow here. It’s probably pretty fucking dark in there, considering it’s underground. So, I suggest you get your ass in there.”

I turned away from James and Amelia to let them work it out on their own and faced Kaiser. He seemed to be pulling out of the daze he was in, shaking his head back and forth and blinking his eyes frantically. He looked around and the situation started to sink in. Quickly he pulled himself to his feet and scaled up the base of the monument. We had all seen the bum effortlessly lift that panel and drag Diana behind it, but Kaiser couldn’t make it budge.

“James!” he shouted. “Come here and help me!”

“Hold on one second, Kaiser. I’m in the middle of something here.” James turned back to face Amelia whose face had by then turned an undeniably angry shade of red. “If you think for one second I’m going to let some bartender whose only “talent” is to glow tell me what to do-”

” Getthefuckoverhere!” Kaiser grunted, still struggling to separate the iron panel from the stone it was wedged into.

“Hey, genius, why don’t you get Sweet Tits over there to help you? Remember that whole steel to aluminum foil incident a few hours ago? And honestly, I doubt I’ll be able to convince the panel to move and I don’t think Lite Brite over here will be able to put on a fireworks show good enough to distract it. Looks like Madame GoodRack is gonna be your best bet.”

Amelia looked at me. She nodded her head over towards Kaiser, silently and begrudgingly agreeing with James. I climbed up to where Kaiser was crouching down, trying to slip his fingers past the iron panel. I could see blisters and cuts already forming.

“Stop,” I said quietly. “Let me.” As he took his hands away, I placed mine on the panel. A sharp tingle traveled from my head and through my fingertips. The panel softened, allowing my fingers to push deeper and deeper into it’s surface. Suddenly it buckled into a flimsy, slippery plastic in my hands, like a tarp or a trash bag. I pulled the length of the plastic towards me, crumpling it into my arms to reveal an opening to what looked to be a long, dark tunnel leading down from the monument and under the street.

“Seriously, Lauren. That shit you do is useful!”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling. I turned to James and Amelia who had now gone to their separate corners, probably after too many boob comments.

“Amelia? Can you come up here, please?”

“Yes,” she said immediately and made her way to Kaiser and I.

“Great!” hollered James. “We just spent 15 minutes arguing about how YOU needed to go first and you wouldn’t do it. Why the hell are you going up there now?”

“Two reasons. One, she said “please” and two, you’re an asshole.” Amelia turned back to look at the gaping hole.

“Maybe there’s a ladder or something,” I said. “I mean, how else would he be able to get down there?”

Amelia reached one arm into the blackness and soon a dim, amber glow seeped from her fingertips. She slowly scanned the perimeter of the hole.

“Jackpot,” she whispered as she revealed a narrow ladder dropping down into a tunnel below. “It looks like a pretty long fall from the bottom of the ladder to the floor, but we can make it. Not sure how we’ll get back up, but I guess we’ll deal with that when we get there. Kaiser, Lauren, Asshole, let’s go.”

Amelia began to ease herself onto the ladder, the amber glow now coming from all of her fingers, when the tunnel was filled with a sharp, high-pitched scream. Kaiser shoved Amelia out of the way.

“DIANA!!!” Kaiser screamed into the tunnel, an undeniable note of desperation in his voice. The screams continued, but sounded like they were getting closer and closer with each passing second.

“I’M RIGHT HERE!!! DIANA?!?!?” Kaiser looked at me, just like he did earlier that night at the Byrd, straight at my face but completely through me. “It’s her! I can see her coming!”

“Is there anyone with her?” I asked, grabbing his arm. “Is he chasing her?”

“No! No, I don’t see anyone!” He laughed and called out, “We’re right here, Diana! Keep running!” his voice echoing into the tunnel. Soon the screaming mixed with the sound of frantic footsteps, slapping against the floor of the tunnel. The glow from Amelia’s hands strengthened just in time to reveal Diana’s face as she passed under the opening. She looked confused, terrified, and exhausted. She opened her mouth to speak but all that got out were relieved sobs at the sight of her own brother.

“It’s ok. We’ll get you out,” Kaiser said softly. “Is he behind you?” Diana shook her head and limply pointed back towards the tunnel behind her.

“Diana, can you reach the ladder?” Amelia asked. Diana stretched out to reach it, but the bottom rung was too high for her to reach. Without a word, Kaiser jumped down onto the ladder and climbed down to pull his sister back up. James, Amelia, and I managed to hoist the two of them out of the opening and onto the platform. Diana crumbled into Kaiser’s arms, crying shaking all over. He rocked her back and forth, whispering in her ears, looking like he was crying himself.

“Come on, guys,” said James. “Let’s get out of here. We probably should get her checked out, make sure she’s ok.”

“James is right,” Amelia nodded. “But first, we need to do something about that,” she said, pointing the hole. “Otherwise he’s going to be able to get in and out even more easily. Lauren, I guess you can just change the panel back and leave it where we found it.”

I gathered up the black plastic and was about to spread it back out over the hole when I got an idea. I reached down and touched the top rung of the ladder. Slowly the metal became softer, turning to liquid and dripping to a molten pool at the bottom of the tunnel. Carefully I spread the black plastic over the hole and felt it turn back to solid iron underneath the palms of my hand. I stood up, brushed my hands on my jeans, and turned to look at everyone else.

“Well, that ought to buy us some time,” I said. “At least for a little while.”

We all eased ourselves down the base of the monument and made our way towards the grass, the spotlights surrounding us pulsing with each step we took.

We were sitting outside of Diana’s house, having gotten her to sleep on the couch without mentioning the corpse (and yes indeed, it was a corpse) occupying her bed upstairs. Everyone was so exhausted that nobody even wanted to speculate on how Jack Arrow had gotten to Dan. So it was just silence all around, except for a driver on the street who I noticed had been trying to parallel park for about ten minutes too long.

“Leave her alone, asshole,” I said to James.

“Women drivers,” he said grimly, watching the car. “You know how they are.”

“Yeah, I know how they are when you’re making them want to redo their parking job over and over again,” I could feel my voice rising, furious again. “I hate you.”

“Whoa, whoa,” He turned around and looked at me. “That’s a strong word for someone so into being a ‘team’. What’s the matter? You got a crush on me or something?”

“Please!” I was shouting now. “This is not some romantic comedy. I’m not going to just decide that some fuckhole isn’t a fuckhole anymore and run away with them…”

“Stop it!” shouted Lauren, her chin on her knees. “Diana’s trying to sleep. And frankly, it’s getting a little old. You’re not helping anyone with all this fighting.”

James looked back out at the street, where the woman was trying for the fiftieth time to park her Subaru Outback. “Who said I was trying to help anybody,” he muttered under his breath.

“Amelia, what does your father do?” asked Kaiser quietly.

I was caught off guard. “He used to work for the army. He was a…a dentist. But he retired early when my mom died.” What the hell did that have to do with anything?

He looked up at me from his seat at the top of the steps. “I can’t see him much in your memories or in your future.”

I was completely bewildered. “We don’t see each other much – I guess we kind of avoid each other. I’m working most of the time anyway.” Fuck. Work. I hadn’t even thought about Grandma’s this entire time. Oh well, I can always get another job at another place with another dick bartender. A thought occurred to me. “So what DO you see in my future then?”

Kaiser seemed to be putting his words together carefully. “You know, it’s weird. With Lauren I can see a couple things, and with James a couple more, you know, normal stuff. Driving a car, talking on the phone. But all I see with you is…” He stopped and looked baffled.

I sighed impatiently. “Is what? What?”

“I just see darkness, I don’t know. Nothing clear, anyway.”

James had moved onto controlling the actions of a stray cat that had blundered into his field of vision. “Hey, maybe you die and Kaiser’s seeing the inside of a coffin.”

I always wonder if that thing that happens when you’re so angry you can’t speak is actually your body’s defense mechanism, preventing you from saying something completely irrevocable. I turned my attention back to Kaiser.

“No, we need to go back to your house,” he said with determination.

“What?” said Lauren. “Why? Do we have, like, an objective here that I don’t know about?”

Kaiser brushed her off. “The bum told me to ask about your father. I don’t know what for, or what any of this means, but I can’t shake the feeing that it’s important. I mean, how would he know your father?”

I was completely dumbfounded. “I have no idea.”

Lauren looked back and forth from me to him. Even James was paying attention. Lauren blurted, “You don’t think Amelia’s dad has something to do with all of this do you?”

“Well, I don’t know! I mean what am I supposed to think! I’m not saying he and Jack Arrow are in league together or something, I’m just saying that he might be some sort of clue to all of this.” Kaiser was getting flustered now.

And he wasn’t the only one. I had to sit down. “Seriously, I can guarantee you that my dad has zero clue about any of this. All he does is sit upstairs in his room, reading novels and putting together jigsaw puzzles. The man has barely left the house in years!”

“I still think we should talk to him. Let’s just talk to him, OK? Can we walk to your place from here?” He was interrupted by the sound of broken glass.

“Let’s go!” shouted James, who was becoming a natural at stealing cars, I’ll give him that. He brushed some glass shards from the driver’s seat before getting in and ripping off a panel under the steering wheel. “Everybody jump in. As soon as I figure out how to hotwire this bitch, we are out of here.”

“On the move again, I guess,” Lauren looked at me sympathetically, but obediently went down the steps and got into the backseat of the car.

Kaiser moved in that direction as well. “I’m sorry, Amelia. I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just need to talk to him. I just need to figure this whole thing out.”

The car engine growled with life. “Kids!” yelled James. “The Nancy Drew Express is leaving in thirty seconds. Let’s move it!”

And before I knew it, we were on our way back to the house I just couldn’t seem to escape today.

The old man’s room stunk like a nursing home. Arthur, the cat, had taken just about a million dumps in various corners of the room which added nicely to the smell. Amelia’s dad sat in an ancient orange recliner staring vacantly at a TV mounted to the wall above his head.

“Hey seriously! Leave my dad out of this he hasn’t done anything, literally.” Amelia was gesturing wildly and her voice was getting louder.

“Amelia. I don’t care. A fucking super villain bum told me to ask you about your dad. Since you’ve refused to tell me anything at all I’m going to ask him myself. Now you can shut up or I’ll have Lauren melt your lips together.”

The lights flickered.

“Hey old man I need to talk to you. What do you know about Jack Arrow?”

He glanced over my shoulder at Amelia, who was clenching her teeth and her fists. He looked like someone had just killed Arthur.

“Hey! Answer my question asshole.”

Ok, maybe calling a stinky old man an asshole was crossing the line; apparently Amelia thought so. She charged across the room and swung at me with a right hook that burned with light and caught me in the jaw.

“Whoa you crazy bitch!”

“DON’T YOU ASK HIM ANY QUESTIONS. DON’T YOU DARE!” She swung at me again, and I could see the veins in her forearms glow and pulse orange.

“JAMES! Get her away from me quick, she’s gone ass-crazy!”

James closed his eyes, and Amelia stopped trying to beat my face in with her glowing fists long enough for James and I to tackle her into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. Without anyone asking her to Lauren changed the doorknob on the door into a tiny bust of Bill Clinton.

“My friends are dead. I want to know why.” she said with a shrug.

I rubbed my jaw and turned back to the old dude. Amelia banged on the door and shouted some choice expletives at me.

“What do you know about Jack Arrow?”

He turned his eyes from the TV and looked at me square in the face: “I know that he is on his way here right now to kill you.”

No one could say anything. The sound of breaking glass came from the bathroom along with a muffled “FUCKERS!” and some more banging.

Lauren took a step forward. She had a crazy look on her face.

“Uh, Lauren … ”

“You are going to tell me everything you know about what is going on, and you are going to tell me right now.” She took off her shirt and began twisting it into a tight coil. James leaned over and whispered “I swear I didn’t make her do that. Plus I would have had her take that off that wife beater too. You know I would have dude!”

“Lauren what are you doing?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m doing Kaiser. I’m going to figure out why everyone we know is dead. Why a seemingly invincible vagrant named Jack Arrow is trying to kill us. This worthless old man knows something and I’m going to make him tell us.”

Loud, vaguely mammalian, screeches came from behind the bathroom door. With each concussion the door rattled on its hinges, and the little bust of Bill Clinton seemed to nod in approval.

The old man seemed in no hurry to go anywhere and didn’t move as Lauren whipped the coiled shirt at his chest. It unraveled and wove itself into a large hempen rope tying him to the chair. James said “Nice trick Tits! Why don’t you use your undershirt to make him some handcuffs?”

Then I punched the old guy, a helpless old guy tied to a chair, right in the nuts.

I spun around to face James. “Listen asshole that was uncalled for. Kindly remove yourself from my brain.”

“Hey man, just trying to get you in the spirit of things.”

The three of us — Lauren, James and myself — stood over the shriveled man, not knowing what where we should take things next. The man looked up and sighed a broken sigh.

“Fine. I am tired, very tired.” He paused and sighed again. “Haven’t you noticed what she does?”

The screaming and banging in the bathroom abruptly stopped. There were two small pings as the hinge pins fell out of the door and onto the tile floor. With a small thud the door landed on the ground. Amelia stood in the doorway lit from behind by crackling blue electricity leaping out of the light fixtures.

She pointed at her father. He put his head down and asked, “I guess it is my turn now?”

Amelia howled and the television mounted above his head creaked and fell from its mount. He looked up as the tube smashed into his face obliterating it. Electricity coursed through his body causing his muscles to spasm and spittle to fly from his mouth. Blood flowed down his chin as he bit through his tongue.

He hunched forward dead, the TV fell to the ground, and it was over.

Still totally wtf over what just happened we all spun around as we heard someone climbing up the stairs.

“Hola bitches — as someone once said.” sneered Jack Arrow as the lights cut off.

The only light came from behind Amelia’s closed eyes. She crouched over her dad, either paying respects, expressing remorse, or plannng the menu for a dinner party. Heck if I knew. Based on recent events, that girl was obviously several candles short of a candelabra. I idly wondered if we could get Lauren to pee holy water to throw on her.

“Go ahead, Captain Jackass Arrow.” I shouted into the gloom, as Kaiser took a step towards the manic bum. “Try to saw our heads off again. I dare you, moron.”

“Asshole. I was a sergeant,” growled Jack, and shot Kaiser in the face.

Now, I’m down for some cathode-ray patricide or the sudden reappearance of our own personal poor-man’s Lex Luthor. I can even handle a ridiculously insane female without breaking much of a sweat, because, honestly, which of them aren’t? But I hadn’t expected Kaiser to get shot in the face. Kid was a good drinking buddy.

Lauren didn’t even blink. The recoil had knocked Jack on his ass, which was odd, considering how he had actually looked as though he knew how to fire the thing. Before he could so much as think about getting up, because I wouldn’t let him, Lauren had already stomped her heel right down on his eye.

Suddenly, Kaiser was standing up again, right next to me. “Awhaa?” I wondered. Kaiser gave me a grin. “Isn’t she amazing?” he asked, nodding to Lauren, who was kicking the twisted, burst remains of what used to be a gun away from the bum’s charred hand.

We all then suddenly felt the characteristic Jack Arrow sleepiness. Lauren’s leg sagged in mid-stomp. Jack started to cackle from his back. Even the uterine pink of the room dimmed, slightly, as Amelia’s shoulders slumped over her father’s body.

“Finish the bastard off. I’ll keep you awake.” I choked at Kaiser and Lauren, and started to think about coffee and half-closed my eyes.

Kaiser sprung into motion and pulled the massive bookcase against the wall down on the bum, trapping him against the floor.

A bookcase? I thought. What the fuck is a bookcase going to do? Jack must have thought the same thing, because he only grunted and started cackling harder.

There was a crunch under the bookcase and the cackling was gone. Lauren looked at us. “I always liked long, iron spikes way better than books, anyway.”

—

“Listen, we all got a little testy in there.”

“Kaiser, you’re wasting your time, bud.” I said. Amelia was apeshit, didn’t he remember?

Outside on the sidewalk, Amelia was sobbing and apparently recovering from her earlier tirade, a lit and sparking cigarette in her hand. Kaiser, for some reason, was trying to comfort her. Lauren was walking in a small counterclockwise circle, trying to call her parents. As for me, well, it’s been fun, but I was looking to split back to Ohio before I met any more insane females with any powers that were not bedroom related.

But something was still bugging me. Amelia’s father. What did he mean? What DOES Amelia do? She’s a woman, so I bet I could just get it out of her if I got her mad enough.

“Kaiser, why don’t you and Lauren take a walk?” I heard myself say. “I’ll talk to her.”

Amelia’s eyes flashed. I concentrated hard at Lauren and Kaiser, trying to implant one thought: stay close. They both looked at me, startled, and started off together.

When Lauren and Kaiser were around the corner, I stepped towards where Amelia was sitting. “So now that we’ve killed Jackass Bumerton, do you want to talk about your fucking dad, No-tits?” I began.

She started laughing angrily, tears glistening on her cheeks. Whoa. I hadn’t even really started making her mad yet. The whole effect both pissed me off and, oddly, turned me on.

That’s when the world fucking fell apart. My ankle twisted and snapped. I collapsed to the sidewalk, looking up at her, thinking hard at the other two to get the fuck back here. Oh: that’s what she does. She makes God hate you.

A car screeched and hopped up onto the sidewalk beside me, slamming into a building. Another car coming the other direction T-boned the first, pinning my arm in between. Pain exploded up my wrist as I ground my teeth. This was no longer hot.

“Fuck you, asshole.” Lauren said, as I watched a streetlight fall directly towards my face. She turned away just as it hit.

But, oddly, it bounced gently. Since when are streetlight poles the approximate consistency of tits?

Lauren! and Kaiser! They’re back!

I grabbed the streetlight and tore it easily from the pole, as though it were perforated. The cars around me turned into cotton candy as I ripped myself away from them.

“Did you think I was that easy?” I said to Amelia, limping towards her. She turned. Kaiser shouted, “She’ll duck and you’ll miss!” as the streetlight turned heavy and leaden in my hand.

Fuck the future. I swung hard at a point between her shoulders, where a ducking head might go.

“Lights out, bitch.” I spat, as I connected.

The only light in James’s room came from the reading lamp above his head.

I could make out the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. Kaiser sat in another chair across from my, the sliver of light showing the up and down bob of his head as he tried to fight off sleep.

After James introduced the light pole to Amelia’s torso, he immediately collapsed on the pavement. Police had started to swarm at the sound of the crashing cars, so we were able to get him on an ambulance pretty quick.

The doctor said James had gone into shock. Aside from a few broken bones, he would be fine. They gave him something to sleep and kept telling Kaiser and I to go home and get some rest. We couldn’t bring ourselves to do it, not believing that it was actually over. Jack Arrow was dead. We left Amelia flattened in the middle of the street. But still. Things just didn’t feel safe yet.

My heart stopped as the door swung open. The comforting sound of the nurse’s sneakers squeaking on the laminate tile brought my breath back to my chest. She gave me a quick smile as she checked James’s pulse and temperature.

He’s sleeping real good, ” she said on her way out. “I bet they let him go tomorrow. Hey, aren’t you a little young to be out so late, honey?

I shrugged and smiled.

“Ma’am, after what I’ve been through, nothing my parents do is gonna be so bad.”

The truth was, I just didn’t want to go back to my aunt’s house. It wasn’t the idea of being grounded until the end of time that bothered me. I knew that me going back meant that I would have to say goodbye to Kaiser. I mean, I knew it was ridiculous. I was still 17 and he was still, well, old. And seriously, while my parents might let a little destructive alchemy slide, they are not down with statutory rape. Or, whatever. Nevertheless, I wanted to put off goodbye as much as possible.

Naturally, Kaiser’s head popped up just as I started thinking about him. His abilities are quite inconvenient for someone who’s trying to keep her feelings under wraps. But he didn’t say anything asshole-ish. He just sighed and smiled.

“How’s he doing?”

“The same,” I answered. “The nurse thinks he might be able to leave tomorrow.”

“Oh, good.” He paused, seemingly unsure of what to say next. I couldn’t help him out, either.

“Listen, Lauren,” he started. “You know, if you’re ever in Blacksburg, we could hang out or whatever. I mean, if you wanted to.”

“Would you want to?” I asked, picking at my shoe, unable to make eye contact with him.

“Sure. You’d be pretty useful to have around. Like, if we run out of beer or something. You could go Jesus-like with the tap water and hook us up,” he suggested.

If he had made that remark just a few hours ago I would have called him an asshole and turned his chair into a mountain of pudding, or something equally awkward. But, I knew things were different now. Even I know what a hard time those frat boys have with real emotions. I could take what I got for now.

“Anytime, Kaiser,” I laughed, looking up to see him looking at me with a soul-crushingly sincere smile. I felt the blood rush up to my face but I couldn’t seem to look away.

He got up and walked quietly over to my chair. Taking my hand in his, he pulled me to my feet and brushed the hair out of my face. He leaned over and kissed me gently on the cheek, pulling back just long enough to look me straight in the eye before putting his lips on mine.

“Well, look what we have here,” said a voice behind us. The bulbs in James’s overhead light popped, showering him with shards of glass as he still lay asleep.

The entire room was drowned in darkness…except for the unmistakable glow of a lit cigarette.

I have another secret.

I mean, it’s not a huge deal.  I can’t make anything happen that doesn’t have a chance of happening anyway. I don’t create these situations, I just take advantage of them. And I didn’t kill many people tonight, just whoever was on life support, I guess, when I found the faulty point in the hospital’s wiring and started the chain reaction with fuses and wires and shit (I’m no electrician!).  I’m in the camp that believes that life support is no way to live anyway. Definitely pull my plug if I’m ever in that situation, God forbid. It gives me chills just thinking about all those slackjawed vegetables, so I don’t feel too bad about dispatching them, and I’m going to elect not to include them in the secret tally I’ve got going in my head. Unless I don’t have that tally anymore. I’m not sure. Things have been a little confusing lately.

I’m pretty sure Lauren and Kaiser and them got out OK. I don’t see why they wouldn’t, unless they got trampled by an onslaught of overweight, panicking nurses when the lights went out. I even tried to focus a little light in their direction as I made my way out onto the street with everyone else. I couldn’t catch a glimpse of them, but I hope they appreciate the fact that I left them alone. Maybe I’ve slipped up a little lately and let this thing get away from me a bit, but I’m feeling better now. I’m even a little proud of myself for how strong my light manipulation capabilities have become! I’m thinking if I just keep working on that, maybe I won’t need the other thing, the bad thing. Maybe light will be enough. At any rate, when I saw them all lying there in the stark hospital lighting, they looked so helpless and so tired. It didn’t seem right to kill them. They’d done a lot for me after all. Well, some of them, anyway. So before they could react in their feeble ways, I cut the power and hit the streets.  One day I’ll find them again when I’ve got everything under control.

But look, like I said before, I have very few vices. I don’t steal, I don’t lie. I always show up to work on time. I just, sometimes, push things in a direction in which they were already headed, that’s all. Nobody made that guy swim around in a part of the river known to be dangerous. And basically if you’re going to be a young girl alone at night in a cemetery, you’re pretty much asking for it. Chemical plant explosions? Come on. It was really just a matter of time for that one.

In fact, it took me awhile when it first started happening maybe ten years ago to figure out that it was me that was causing the deaths. I experimented on some old people for awhile, just some grandparents of people I knew and an elderly couple on my block. I figured no one would miss them, you know? After the fifth pre-existing old-person condition that I pushed over the edge, I decided to try something more complicated. My mom was carrying groceries up the steps one day when the knowledge of her very own dangerous information hit me. I could almost see her slightly weak heart inside her bursting with the effort, even though I was upstairs in my bedroom and couldn’t actually see the front steps at all. Her usual call for help with the grocery bags nearly distracted me, but I’d been practicing with the geriatrics, so it wasn’t too difficult to concentrate on those valves and aortas or whatever. Then I heard some dull thuds and the sound of a little broken glass, and it was all over! I can’t even begin to describe the rush that followed.

I guess some people get high from giving life and some from taking it away.

I mean, the bum was easy. Jack Arrow was a demented individual who was so close to being pushed into a murderous rampage that I barely had to do anything. I didn’t know he was what he was when I set him off one night on my walk home, and even now I’m not sure how much he knew about me and what I had done to him. But it sure does seem that I’m the only woman around here whose neck didn’t get a saw held to it, doesn’t it?

To be honest, though, I’ve gotten a little out of hand lately. I’ve started to do it without even thinking about it. It’s become automatic, like lighting up a cigarette, which I should also probably do a little less. The other day when we were in Monroe Park, I didn’t even realize I was responsible for the car smashing into the Mosque until after it happened. My reach has expanded too. I get these little danger alerts like an annoying kid pulling at a corner of my brain, and I make the deaths happen just to make it stop, only now they seem to be coming from farther and farther away. I’ve certainly never, to my knowledge, caused something as big as a chemical plant explosion as far away as Hopewell before. The rush it gave me almost rivalled how it felt when I was just starting out.

I’m sorry, Dad, wherever you are. I miss her too. And I guess I’ll miss you now. And maybe I’d stop if I could, but I doubt it. I didn’t ASK to be like this. I didn’t ASK to be able to do these things. I can’t help it anymore, and who cares anyway. I deserve to have a little pleasure in my life. I haven’t had everything handed to me on a silver platter like Lauren or Kaiser. And fucking douchebag assholes like James are far more harmful than someone like me. I don’t insult people. I don’t fuck over my friends. I don’t belittle people for no reason. I don’t completely disregard the feelings of another person. Maybe I don’t want to stop after all.

So you know what? Fuck you, James. Fuck you, Jack Arrow. Fuck you, Dad. And fuck you, everyone else!

I recommend staying out of harm’s way.